To Timmy, at 10 years old

I cannot believe that you are TEN!  That number is so big!  That makes me so old!  As I posted on Facebook on your birthday, "No one has affected my life and heart as much as this one. Turning me into a mom and growing into a person I am so proud of I could burst."  You totally turned Daddy and I into the people we are today, into parents, into a family.  You entered our lives easily and nothing has been the same since.  I have not been bored since the day you were born.  I have not felt alone or lonely or without purpose or motivation.  My life is split into before Timmy was born and after!

You are a sweet, sweet kid.  You still love to climb into our bed and cuddle with us, you regularly slip your hand into mine while out in public, and you greeted me with a (awkward) hug in the middle of the cafeteria the last week of school, knowing that you wanted to hug me but that you would be teased, which you were.  You are a great friend and a fantastic big brother.  You are open with your feelings, telling people when you miss them and when you feel hurt.  I hope you never stop. You acknowledge the every day things, you will see me carrying the laundry basket and thank me for doing the laundry.  You wrote a 'story' about me in computer lab, it said, "She's nice and fun she always cares for me. She always comes to see me play sports. She works hard on everything she does."  You are impressed when Dad tackles a new project around the house, surprised he knows how to do whatever it is.  You notice how many hours Dad puts into Little League and miss him when he's at meetings at bed time.  This doesn't mean that you always show appreciation or make things easier on us though!  You might put baseball pants inside out on the floor, instead of right side out in the hamper, the same day you thank me for doing the laundry!  But I'm working on you on that, and it's validating just for you to notice, most of the time.

You have gotten so big!  You are officially taller than M&M and approaching Baba's height.  Your new tennis shoes are too big for me.  You are now 4'-9 3/4" and you've also filled out, you are solid and strong.  You are big enough for some new chores now too!

We got you your own phone, for various reasons but you can largely thank Movie Pass.  But you have started running home from school, walking Sonic, going to friend's houses from school, and being left home alone for short stints, so it was time.  It's worth mentioning just to share this video.

You continue to be a friend to everyone in your classes, but you definitely have your best friends.  The Three Doritos voted to add a 4th this year when Carson joined your school, but the three original members are definitely still BFF's.  

You and Caleb get super excited to see each other every chance you get, though visits are further between then any of us would like!

Your birthday party was an epic pool party again this year, there were at least 40 kids, mostly 4th graders with some younger siblings.  You had a blast and I loved seeing you smile all afternoon.

You are undoubtedly a baseball player.  Over the past year you have really taken pride in your playing.  Not to say that you don't have other interests, or that you never complain about going to practice.  But when you're on the field you own it.  We are wrapping up All Star season right now and there are few things I love more then watching you play third, hitting, and running the bases.  I recently overheard you telling Tyler that his upcoming season, moving up to AA, is when baseball will really click.  You have big plans to play lots of catch with Tyler this summer.  The second half of this season, and into All Star season I have seen a big change in your attention on the field.  I have regularly heard you being the first and loudest to respond, "Yes, Coach!" and you are the first to call out and charge at bunts.  Your running is smart and you have made some great tagging outs.  I have not heard a coach tell you to get into position or pay attention in months, you already are.

During your House season this Spring, there was a game that Dad had to leave early to attend a League meeting.  You had a fantastic game, great fielding, great hitting, great pitching.  On our drive home I was telling you what a great game you had, and you kept asking what time Dad would be home.  I asked you, "Why are you so worried about what time Dad is getting home?" and you answered, "Because I want him to congratulate me."  I let out a little laugh and you said, "What? I'm always working hard so he will be proud of me."  I told you that was a very honest response!

Pitching during said game

You had a big Spring activity wise.  The Warriors did a tournament in Dewey on Saint Patrick's Day  Weekend and in Manassas on Memorial Day Weekend, giving you guys a chance to have fun on and off the field!

You participated in Running with the Stars after school and ran a 5K with the club and Aunt Becky at the end of the season.  

Your House team won the regular season with an 8-2-1 record and you were a leader and star on the team.  

You also played flag football and that team won the Championship game as well, with plenty of plays by you helping to get them there, racking up interceptions and breaking up passes throughout the season.  (You missed the actual Championship game though, due to an All-Star game at the same time).   

Interception!

You have also continued with Piano Lessons, and you take pride in your friend's surprise when they find out you play the piano, you like that, "You wouldn't think from looking at me that I play the piano."  You did wonderfully at your recital a few weeks ago.

You had an absolutely fantastic school year!  It was the first grade that the classes had two teachers, moving between their classrooms during the day.  They were an amazing team and they loved your classes as much as you all loved them!  You actually cried when showing me selfies you took with your teachers on the last day, an emotion you haven't shown at the end of a school year since preschool!  Your grades were great, and you really started to shine in history especially.  We still need to get you on track with your multiplication facts, but you tested well enough in math that you were selected for AP math next year.  There was very little homework this year, which was great for our schedule, but I'm worried about getting you back into the swing of homework next year!

One of many field day victories sealed in this clip! (You're not competitive at all...)

If I didn't talk more about how you are with Tyler, I would be leaving out a huge part of your life.  You are still a great big brother 99% of the time.  You show frustration when you're asked to do more then him, or to run upstairs to get something for him, or to set a good example for him.  One night even ended in you sobbing that you didn't want to be the oldest and that we 'love Tyler more because he's little and cute.'  But the more typical Timmy loves waking Tyler up for school with cuddles and sneaking him into your bed when I've told him to sleep in his own.  When Tyler recently went for a sleepover at Grandad and Susan's you begged to go too, and went to bed early, bored, when I suggested Tyler get some time there to himself.  Just this week Tyler was overtired and missing me while I was at work, so you called me for him and let him talk to me, and when I asked you to give Tyler a big hug for me, you said you were already snuggling him.  You are both quick to defend the other when one of you does get into trouble with us.  And you are more then worthy of all of his admiration of you!  You guys turned your whole room into a fort the first day of summer and won't let me take it down, you've been playing in it and sleeping in it every night.

One more example of the great kid you are turning out to be: I was watching the 4th grade kick ball game on the second to last day of school, talking with your teachers.  You and Nate were on one team, Logan and Josh on the other, and it was very competitive.  You were pitching and Catherine came up to kick (she has multiple developmental issues, and has been in your classes since Kindergarten) and she kicked the ball right back to you.  Several of your teammates yelled for you to get her out, you shrugged and threw the ball... 10 feet behind her.  I almost cried, and both of your teacher's said, "Awww," and then made comments to me that knowing you, it didn't really surprise them that you had done that.  (And this was all you, not a mandated class rule, a few plays later one of your teammates got Catherine out as she was running to third.)

Just keep doing what you're doing buddy, you are on the right track!  We love you so much!

To Tyler, at 6 years old

Tyler,

You are as amazing as ever.  You are the sweetest boy in the whole World, and I tell you this all the time.  You will regularly tell me that I am the best mommy in return.  You give your love and your food freely.  You are constantly giving up your food to Timmy, even when we've told him not to even ask you for it, insisting that you want him to have it.  You also offer to share food and toys and turns with Dad and I as well.  You get super excited when we all do something together, the other night we were all getting ready to play tetris and you shouted out, "Yay, family time!"  If I accidentally hurt you (like scratching you with my ring while helping you change clothes) you will say ow, I will apologize, and you will say, all in one breath, "It's okay I still love you I know it was an accident you're still the best mommy."  Timmy doesn't always get that much grace, but you don't always believe him that his transgressions are accidental!  You still love helping, especially when tools are involved.  You recently helped Daddy paint, and you were a big helper working in the front yard too - picking up sticks, bagging leaves, and weeding the front planting beds.

You are funny, and silly, and smart, and caring, and giving, and cuddle-able.  You love music.  Your favorite song right now is That's What I Like, and you like every other Bruno Mars song you've heard too.  You also like Lady Gaga, and most other Top Pop songs.  You love Science, you like "making potions" by sticking random things you find outside into almost empty water bottles.  You conduct your own experiments (one such experiment involved peeing in a paper cup you had filled with leaves to see what would happen, and then taking it into Daddy's office to show him!) and love doing activities in the Science Kit we got you for Christmas. You are freaked out by bugs.  You won't go to the basement alone, and don't love going upstairs alone either.  You've been asking when we're going to open the pool since the first warm spell of January, claiming you didn't care if the water was freezing and green.

You loved playing your first season of basketball this past winter.  You were always going outside at home to dribble the ball and took the ball on trips in the car as well, I was waiting for you to start sleeping with it!  You scored several baskets this season, even though you were as unsure of your ability to do that as we were (the baskets were higher then they were supposed to be for your age).  This video was your first basket of the season!  You are now excited to be playing good baseball this season, really running to the bases now and hitting well.  I love seeing your progress.

You are also a juxtaposition.  I could describe you as both easy going and stubborn in the same hour.  As predictable and complicated. As independent and needy.  You are in your own activities and have your own friends, but Timmy's baseball schedule is dictating all of our lives right now.  You go with the flow and play with the other siblings, and beg me for dollars to spend at the snack shack.  You are up way too late for a school night two nights a week, but you don't complain.  (You do cry awfully easily the following mornings while getting ready for school though.)  We just try to get you to bed as early as possible on the other evenings to make up for it.  (You despise having to go to bed before Timmy, I'm pretty sure you think that's the worst part of being younger.  You do seem to be truthfully afraid of being alone (or at least nervous about) especially in the dark, so that compounds the problem of going to bed before Timmy.)  But I am just in awe of how happily you go to all of Timmy's sports, and how well you entertain yourself while we're there for hours.

You were in heaven at Timmy's first travel tournament, with sand as far as you could see, and Eli to play with

My sweet boy bringing me flowers during one of Timmy's games.  This was quickly followed by you hitting me up for "dollars" for candy from the snack shack.

Entertaining yourself and keeping warm at a cool and drizzly flag football game.

Your relationship with Stella has changed again in the last few months, and it's worth writing about because the change is mostly with you.  Over the past year, you have been more interested in being one of the big boys, playing with Timmy and Caleb, which has been hard on Stella.  Now that the big boys are on the same baseball team again, you and Stella have had more time together without them.  When you were younger, you had always been happy to play what and how Stella wanted to play, down to repeating words that she wanted your character or toy to say; if Stella wanted something, you gave it to her without question.  Two recent interactions have shown me how much you have grown up in this area.  At the church Easter Egg hunt this year, you opened an egg with a cute little chick in it and Stella did not get one like it.  She wanted yours, she asked to trade, you decided you didn't want anything that she had offered to trade, and you were very polite about it.  She was very upset, cried, and said some hurtful things.  You looked to me and shrugged.  I assured you that you were fine, you did not have to trade as long as you were nice about it, and that her response was not nice and she would realize that eventually.  Stella eventually came over to apologize, and you got along fine the rest of the day. More recently, at a baseball game, Stella was playing with someone else's jump rope and you wanted a turn.  She decided not to share and you became upset.  While I was talking to you about it you said, "She's so bossy! She only wants me to play her way!"  I tried to explain that used to be routine for you guys, and that now that you have your own opinions about what to do, Stella doesn't know how to interact with you.  This didn't make you feel better at the time, but I'm confident that you guys will continue to work on ways to play together.  You still care for each other and are excited every time you find out that you will be getting together.  These are just some growing pains for your friendship.  You are, however, still very adamant that you are no longer her boyfriend, and still bring up "the time when she tried to drown me."  Daddy recently asked you, in front of Stella, if you had ever had a girlfriend.  You and Stella looked at each other and giggled, and you reminded him that you had to break up with her after that happened.

You are enamored with "baby Scarlett" and love to play with her, hold her, follow her around at baseball, and chase her around her new house.  You recently asked me if I was going to have another baby, I told you that I didn't know, but I didn't think so.  You were disappointed and said, "but then I'll never be a big brother."  You regularly wish to be the same age as Timmy.  You think you have the bad side of the deal being the little brother, but he thinks the same thing about being the big brother.  It's funny to watch your dynamic switch over the course of the day.  In the morning Timmy is on his A game, getting ready and helping me with the morning routine while you regularly lay there for me to dress you, and then lay on the couch or floor and whine about any requests to help with anything until after your breakfast is on the table, pouting for me to, "have Timmy do it", whatever it is.  After school though, it switches.  You will both be downstairs playing video games, and Dad or I will summon you guys upstairs by stomping on the floor.  Timmy will continue to play and send you up to find out what we want.  He will also send you upstairs for water and snacks, and you happily comply.  Just like when he asks for bites of food, if he's ordered something different at a restaurant, or just wants seconds, and you give him most of what you have left!  You both have a pretty good thing going!

You do love being able to keep up with Timmy and his friends.  You actually don't consider anyone to be Timmy's friends, they are your shared friends.  You have a hard time understanding why you can't go with Timmy to his friend's houses (this is mostly when said friend is the youngest sibling in their family) and there's not a chance you are leaving Timmy and buddies alone when they are at our house.  You are literally right in the middle of the group.  When I asked you to come up with your birthday party guest list you included Nate, Nathan, and Caleb not just so Timmy would have friends there, but because they are your friends.

You know how to work me, our family has been especially busy lately, with Dad and Timmy at lots of baseball, and me trying to keep up with the house when I'm actually at home, and you trying to get me to stop what I'm doing and entertain you.  You used to beg me to let you teach me how to play video games.  That wasn't enticing to me, so one day you said, "Will you snuggle me?"  I of course stopped putting laundry away immediately and we snuggled up in bed and talked for a long time.  I told you, "I can never turn down a request to snuggle."  You have remembered that.  Now whenever I find myself busy, you will ask to snuggle and remind me that I said I can't turn that down!  Lately we take turns between getting a chore done and playing a made up game.  This weekend it was hallway hockey between rounds of laundry.  I love that you are reminding me of what is important, and sweetly requesting that I slow down and take advantage of this alone time with you.

The school year has brought you so much growth.  Literally, you grew 2" in 6 months.  You've gone from a baby to a big boy.  Your reading skills have progressed greatly.  You started the year only knowing about 2/3 of the capital letter alphabet, and that might be being generous.  It took you a long time to get the final 6 figured out, but lower case came more easily, and reading skills have started falling into place since then.  You can find the patterns in Step 1 books, and after one time through you have memorized the words that you need help sounding out the first time.  You finally enjoy when I read out loud and actually sit and listen.  You, Timmy, and I have read The BFG, Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone, and some of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books the last few months and you have loved them all.  Mrs Bekenstein is thrilled with your progress too, recently emailing to tell us about significant improvement in your benchmarks saying, "I am so proud of him and his hard work!!! Made me want to cry!! What tremendous progress! Your little man is ready for first grade!"  You really enjoy school, the other night, after being asked to help me clean up your room, you said, "I wish I could do things that I like all of the time, like electronics, and going to school." 

You did a great job on this school project, to build a musical instrument!

I've also been impressed with your willingness and effort with the annual Little League coupon sales this year.  The last few years Timmy has been the selling machine, and you have sold at one or two sales events, where I have done most of the talking for you.  This year when we sold on our street, you insisted on knocking on doors and making your sales pitch yourself, so I walked with you and Timmy ran ahead of us.  You did a fantastic job.  You and I have also done three sales events and you have done the talking yourself, with just some help from me in getting the adults attention.  Many people have commented, "who could say no to this cutie!"

I knew these big changes would come this year (after seeing Timmy's growth in Kindergarten) but it has still been amazing to witness.  The only baby habit left that I would wish away for you is that you still suck your thumb when you are tired and sleeping!  I have been warning you that "the yucky stuff" will have to be used soon!  Other then that you are well on your way to growing into an amazing big boy.  I was pleased to hear you announce to dad this weekend that when you grow up you will not be moving out.  Keep promising to always be my baby, because you always will be.  We love you so much, Tyler!